A different life
by Jode
Summary: He's getting married, she's alone again, could life get any worse?(Contains mention of rape) My first story. WIP
1. Chapter 1 The beginning

Opps forgot my disclaimer first time around.  
  
Title - A different Life.  
  
Author - Jodie  
  
Spoilers - Season ones, just the 'Pit' kind.  
  
Season - Bit of a future fic, could be said to be AU from chimera.  
  
Disclaimer - I don't the stargate or any of the characters. Although if anyone wants to give me Jack feel free too. Although I do own Josh.  
  
A/N I wrote this a while ago, didn't have the guts to post it. Unfrotunately it isn't finished far from it. I need a bit of encouragement.  
  
"So what did you two get up to last night?"  
  
"Dinner"  
  
"Just dinner?"  
  
"Okay dinner and coffee if you must know".  
  
"Your place or his?"  
  
'What is this question time?" She looked towards the seat Janet was occupying. Janet opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by the loud shrieking of the phone. Sam looked towards Janet and smiled as she reached for the phone. "And I'm not answering that question!" she said before reaching across and snatching the phone from its cradle. "Carter.........Yes Sir............Yes Sir................ No it's not a problem Sir.......... Thank you Sir". Sam sighed before replacing the receiver. She looked at Janet then moved her vision towards the set of rather large files that sat on the far desk.  
  
"Bad news?" She looked up towards Janet and noticed the concerned look on her face.  
  
"Briefing's been cancelled".  
  
"Oh. So its good news? I mean you can go home early. Which means..." she left the sentence open and saw the small grin that appeared on Sam's face.  
  
"I know, I know" she smiled again at the thought of an evening with Josh again. "It's just that I've worked hard on this briefing. The naquada deposits on P4X 989 are amazing. unlike all the other sources we've come across, these deposits cover the surface. I did some calculations and according to the results every 9 years a new..." She stopped speaking when she noticed Janet's mind had obviously tuned out to the previous conversation.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry Sam it's just..."  
  
"Not interested?"  
  
"No, no.......... its not that its just..."  
  
"Something better to think about?" She studied Janet for a second until it hit her. "Or should I say someone?? Spill!"  
  
"Nooo….Nothing like that". she exclaimed   
  
"Oh come on your grinning like a Cheshire cat!"  
  
"I met up with him last week" Sam stared hard at Janet waiting for her to continue speaking when she didn't she broke the silence.  
  
"And...."  
  
"And, nothing. We were having dinner together until we were interrupted by our resident archeologist and his alien friend!"  
  
"They didn't?" Sam said now totally engrossed in the conversation.  
  
"Oh yeah apparently Daniel was giving Teal'c an insight into Taur'i formal dining".  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Yes, I know. So anyway Alec and Daniel got into this conversation about some local dig or something like that while I introduced Teal'c to a seafood cocktail and to the joy of as much alcohol as I could consume, considering Teal'c doesn't drink!"  
  
"I'm sure they didn't mean to ruin your night"  
  
"I know, Daniel apologised afterwards". Janet said exasperated.   
  
"So" Sam said shifting in her seat to find a more comfortable position. "So when you seeing him again?"  
  
"Oh for crying out loud" They both burst out laughing  
  
"You know I think you've been hanging out too much with............." She stopped herself. The grin that had occupied her face had turned itself upside down and now a frown was in its place.  
  
"The Colonel?" Janet finished. A look of concerned filled her face, a look, which Sam couldn't bear herself to look at no longer. So instead she found a spot just above Janet's head to focus on.  
  
"The Colonel" she whispered.  
  
"My lord it is ready".  
  
"Excellent, send it out".  
  
Jack jumped out of his pride and joy ford pickup with a spring in his step. Tonight was going to be a special night, and he planned on making it so. He stopped and leaned against his car admiring the view. Normally the phrase 'The lights are on but there's nobody home' popped into his head, but this time there was someone at home. Somebody waiting for him to return. She moved in 3 months ago. It wasn't an easy choice to let her back into his home again, and he knew the choice wasn't easy for her too. But here they were now. 6 months into the relationship and as happy as hell. It was nice to have someone to hold at night and have them hold you back. Although at times the conversational topic could be a little strained but she knew he couldn't talk about his work, she learnt to just accept him when he came home after a rough mission with bumps and bruises, it was nice, perfect in fact. He smiled to himself pulling himself out of his reverie. He started to walk towards the house but paused. Stopping in his tracks his reached into his pocket and drew out his car keys. Without turning round he lifted his arm and pointed the car alarm key to the car and switched it on. Two small beeps were heard, shoving the keys back into his front pocket he continued on his small journey towards the house. As he reached for the handle the warm glow that he saw emitting from the front room window made him think about what a lucky bastard he was. He chuckled to himself and opened the door. Allowing his body to take in the heat that the house offered him. 'Much better' he thought as he threw off the coat that had been keeping him mildly warm in the freezing temperatures outside. He started making his way towards the living room where the forefront of his thoughts was more than likely to be. He frowned slightly when he noticed she wasn't there. As he was about to shout out for her he was hit with incredible Amour. Looking towards the kitchen he could just about see the object of his desire. Using all the knowledge he picked up from special-ops about being stealth he crept upon her. She was humming. She liked to hum. He never ever found her singing just humming. Standing behind her he slid his arms ever so gently around her waist and smiled as she lent back into his arms.  
  
"I heard you about a minute ago" she answered amused.   
  
"Damn I thought I had nailed it this time" she laughed as she turned in his arms to face him.  
  
"10 out of 10 for trying Jack, but your success rate is still non-existent" she laughed even harder when she saw the expression on his face as tried to look hurt. "Not gonna work". She said pulling herself out of his arms and tending to the pot that had started to over boil. Jacks interest was captured as he tried to make out what was making the delicious aroma he smelt earlier.  
  
"Hmmm that smells great what is it?"  
  
"Basted Duck With Oyster Dressing"  
  
"Really?? Cool" he said slightly turning his nose up at the idea. "You need a hand?"  
  
"The table needs setting".  
  
"I can do that," he said as he made his way towards where the cutlery and plates were kept and began to set the table. He swore slightly under his breath as he tried to calm his nerves. I mean it wasn't a big deal right?? 'Yeah just keep telling yourself that Jacky boy' his inner mind thought. He turned round to grab the napkins from the right hand draw instead his eyes fell upon the clock that hung on the wall. 'Oh tonight's gonna be a long night' he thought.  
  
Considering the briefing had been cancelled Sam had managed to find a hundred and one things to keep her busy for the past 6 hours. In the end it was a very tempting offer of a movie and an Italian that had made her leave the base. To be honest it was a relief, the conversation with Janet hadn't ended on a particularly good note, but she wasn't going to think about that not now, possibly not ever. So here she was standing outside Josh's house willing herself to go and knock on the door. As much as tried to move herself she didn't budge. She knew what she was doing was wrong. God she had told herself countless times that it was wrong and that it had to stop. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. When she looked at Josh, she didn't see a future. She couldn't see a family. She hated herself for it; in fact recently she had started hating herself for a lot of things. She shook her head trying to rid her mind of those thoughts. At the moment she was fighting for the present the future could wait. With a rush of newfound courage she reached the door and knocked twice. She didn't have chance to re-drop her arm to her side before the door was whipped open and she was faced with the smiling face of one Josh Williams. He was taller than her. She liked it that way. He was an extremely attractive guy, women took notice of him, and it made her kind of possessive.   
  
"Hey sweetie pie" she hated that.  
  
"Hi, sorry I'm late".  
  
He looked to his watch "No your right on time". She also hated that; she has never known anyone not connected to the military to be so strict on keeping time. Like the other day she was 10 minutes late to the Chez Loret restaurant in town. He wanted to know why she was late and whom she was with. He has his possessive ways and for someone as attractive as he was, he has an extremely jealous streak. The last time it reared its ugly head it ended up causing argument after argument and more friction on a friendship that was already run down.  
  
"Hey you want a drink or something?" she nodded. "Dinner's ready in 10. Hope your hungry".  
  
"Starved" and she was. He tried to think back to the last thing she ate. 'A banana at breakfast' she thought. She looked down to her watch, which was almost 11 hours ago. 'Boy I need to eat more' she thought.  
  
"There you go" he handed her a beer. She looked to the label and sighed ever so quietly to herself. It was that tasteless foreign stuff. 'Yuk', she only drank it because Josh had insisted she would love it. She took a small swig and scrunched up her nose.  
  
"Thank-you" she whispered.  
  
"How was work?" she went to answer but was cut off. "I know, I know, it's classified. In General?"  
  
"Well in General" she grinned. "It was fine. How was your day?"  
  
"Good. I missed you though" he moved towards her closing the gap, making Sam feel uncomfortable. She smiled an uncomfortable smile at him. As she looked into his eyes she could see what his intentions were.  
  
"What about dinner?"  
  
"It can wait" the gap was still decreasing.  
  
"You went to all the trouble though" she really didn't want this tonight, but the look in his eyes told her its all he wanted right now.  
  
"No trouble".  
  
"Josh!"  
  
"Sam" he whispered as his lips captured hers. His arms found there way to her waist and pulled her closer to him. She could feel his desire and it scared her. Last night he had promised her, promised her it wouldn't be like this again... 


	2. Chapter 2 A friend in the know

See part 1 for disclaimer.  
  
A/N - Might take me a while to get the third part up, but all encouragement to do so gets me writing faster. Thank-you for the reviews guys.Oh and if anyone fancies giving future chapters a beta, you'd be a star.  
  
########  
  
flashback  
  
She could feel the pressure increasing; she could feel his hands clutching at her clothes, tugging at them. Willing them to fall away. He was keen tonight, in fact too keen she thought as she felt his nails dig into her waist. She tried to pull away slightly, trying to drop the hint to take it slow. Slow wasn't his thing, in fact she couldn't remember once when they had taken it slow and explored each other. All of a sudden she felt herself being flipped around and thrown against the wall. Within seconds she felt him against her again. He was in control. The pain in her waist was increased as she felt his nails dig into her flesh. God he must be drawing blood, she moaned. He mistook it for pleasure and started tearing at her clothes, that's when panic started to set in. She tried to push him away but doing that just seemed to encourage him even more. The pressure his mouth was placing on hers was immeasurable; she squirmed once again trying to push him away. Then she heard it...she remembered the scene from the night before.  
  
"I want you now"  
  
Pulling her arms out of his grasp she started beating her fists against his chest. He didn't flinch. Pulling her mouth away from his, she bit down hard on his lip, drawing blood. This time he did flinched, bringing his hand back, with force against her cheek, she fell down onto her knees, he said sorry, this time she forgave him. Next time she wouldn't.  
  
########  
  
"Josh!!" she protested against his lips. He didn't budge an inch. "Josh stop!!" she was insistent. Still he didn't budge. Images of the previous night flashed before her eyes. She felt him pressing himself up against her. She shuddered. Something wasn't right. And she knew why, he had clasped her hands behind her back. His kisses became urgent against the side of her neck. He left her lips alone. Taking it upon himself to bruise her skin with his damaging kisses. She opened her eyes to look at him; his eyes were dark filled with desire. She pushed again and again she didn't freeze until she heard four words.  
  
"Not this time Sam!"  
  
When did things get like this she thought? He wasn't like this before, granted he wasn't the gentlest lover she had ever had, but when she said stop before he stopped, what was so different this time?? Trying to pull herself out of her daze, Sam continued to struggle against the power Josh had over her. One of his hands came to cover her mouth, keeping her quiet efficiently. Still she couldn't move her hands, he had her wedged against the wall perfectly. She felt his other free hand traveling further up her stomach until it came to rest on her chest. Her systems went on def con 1, using every ounce of energy her body possessed she raised her knee, she sighed a sigh of relief when she heard the anguish cry, knowing she had hit the intended target. But she didn't expect what happened next.  
  
"You bitch" the next thing she saw was his fist coming towards her, and the darkness.  
  
"Mmmm that was great" Jack said as he rubbed his stomach in delight. He wasn't exactly being truthful but she had gone to all the trouble. And he could hardly say 'given the choice between good old American pizza or a dish of which he couldn't even announce the name of he'd definitely go for pizza' could he?? 'God I'd kill for a beer right now' he thought as he looked towards the fridge with hungry eyes. But tonight was going to be special and on special occasions people drank wine, so that's what he was doing.  
  
"I'm glad you liked it" she rose and started to collect the dishes but was stopped by Jacks hand on her arm.  
  
"Leave em".  
  
"But..."  
  
"They can wait". He looked towards the living room. "Come on" he said gently tugging her towards the room.  
  
"Jack!!"  
  
"Sara??" he turned to look at her with a mischievous glint in his eye.  
  
"What are you doing?" he sat down on the couch pulling Sara down with him.  
  
"Showing my woman a good time" he waggled his eyes suggestively. Positioning himself so he could pull Sara into his arms he noticed the corner of something sticking out from underneath the couch. Still grinning he started to reach down for the item. "What's this?" he asked. Sara looked down and gasped when he pulled the item out. She tried to pull it from out of his hands but he was to fast. He laughed as he saw the uncomfortable look appear on her face, but that laughed soon died down. Choking on his words he managed to mumble out "Bride and groom??"  
  
"Its nothing" she said hurriedly pulling herself from his lap and grasping the magazine from his hand. He looked at her carefully and saw the glimmer of disappointment shown in her eyes.  
  
"You wanna get married?" he said more seriously than he wanted to.   
  
"Was that a proposal?" Jack for the first time in his life was speechless. As he opened his mouth to speak no sound came out. He tried again.  
  
"Well... You........... I..." Sara looked at Jack and saw the despair in his eyes.  
  
"It's okay I shouldn't have brought it up. I can understand why you don't want to get married again..."  
  
"Its not that!" Jack shouted as he suddenly found his voice. "Sorry" he apologized for the volume.  
  
"So you don't want to marry me?" You know that rock and hard place people talk about? Well that's where Jack was right about now. Without thinking he opened his mouth and the words just flowed out.  
  
"Of course I do!"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Yes??"  
  
"I'll marry you". Sara said as she threw herself at Jack. 'D'oh!'  
  
As hard as she scrubbed it wouldn't go away. She felt dirty, she felt ashamed. As she looked down at her body she saw the marks made by the excessive scrubbing mingled in with the cuts and bruises made by that monster. A monster. That's what he was. He had reduced an air force Major to a quivering mess. As the thoughts of the night washed back into her mind she felt the tears sting her eyes. 'I will not cry' she told herself. But her determination to not cry only increased her body's determination to cry. Within seconds her body was shaking with so many emotions as the severity of last night finally hit home. As she lent against the shower wall she felt her knees give way and her whole body fall to the floor. She was getting used to the darkness.  
  
"So, did she say yes?" Daniel asked as he crammed another forkful of waffle into his mouth.  
  
"No" Jack answered as he stirred his fruit loops, creating a whirlpool of milk.  
  
"No?"  
  
"Well, yes".  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What?" Jack asked tearing his gaze away from the many colors swirling around in his milk.  
  
"Are you going to the cabin together this weekend or not?"  
  
"No" he said sighing.  
  
"I thought you just said she said yes"  
  
"That was to my other question," he said as he looked around the room, trying to divert attention away from the impending question that was about to follow.  
  
"What one was that?"  
  
"My marriage proposal" Daniel looked at Jack like he had gone out. Jack on the other hand just raised his hand slightly, causing Daniel to start choking. All of a sudden every eye in the commissary was fixed on them as Daniel tried to get himself under control. Jack made no attempt to help, but found a slight satisfaction in Daniels discomfort.  
  
"You asked her to marry you???" Daniel exclaimed. Jack quickly scanned the room to make sure no one had heard.  
  
"Could you say that a bit louder I don't think they heard you in OZ!!!"  
  
"Sorry" he said sincerely noticing the despair that appeared in Jack's eyes. "What happened?"  
  
He sighed and took a deep breath as he prepared to tell Daniel the tale.  
  
"... And that's when she said 'I'll marry you'". He said finishing off.  
  
"Oh!" was all Daniel could manage.  
  
"Oh?? That's it?? I'm getting married and all you can say is Oh!!!" Jack exclaimed raising his voice.  
  
"Well I mean is it really a bad thing?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well you love her right?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
"And you wanna spend the rest of your life with her".  
  
"I guess" Jack said shifting uncomfortably in his chair.  
  
"Well there you go" Jack looked even more confused than when he started. "I mean its not like you have to get married right away is it?"  
  
"I guess not" Daniel opened his mouth but Jack hadn't finished yet, his face showing that a new revelation had been discovered. "I mean it's not like we haven't be married before. And god I love her. So this is a good thing really" Daniel smiled as he saw the grin cover Jacks face.  
  
The corridors seemed so empty today. 'Maybe they know' she thought as paranoia filled her veins. She touched her forehead and cringed slightly at the pain that traveled through her. Luckily the fall she had in the bathroom only caused a bump nothing more. One way or another her main objective was to avoid people in general today especially a certain air force officer. As she walked by the commissary the aroma that flew by her caused her stomach to churn even more. The ride to the base hadn't been an easy one; in fact that was an understatement. After crawling out of the shower she tried to eat something but her stomach would have none of it. Getting dressed proved to be a task. Standing in front of the mirror she stared at the damage that had been done to her body. She examined each bruise, wincing when the memory of how it had got there popped into her head. Sometimes when she ran her hand over a new bruise or mark she would shed a tear. And another tear if she couldn't remember how it got there. After seeing bruise after bruise and an occasional abrasion she could no longer look at her body. Flinging on a dressing gown she went to get dressed where there were no mirrors, no objects to bare her soul. Eventually she managed to leave the house, but paranoia filled her mind and her eyes were on constant watch. The drive seemed to take an eternity, time was mocking her. As she got nearer his lab a sense of calmness filled her. Her lab. She was safe here. No one could get here. Closing the door softly behind her she came face to face with a sign:  
  
'Sam   
  
Briefing 1300   
  
Daniel x'  
  
Taking the note in her hand she slowly dropped it to the floor, so much for avoiding people. So much for avoiding him!  
  
He had a spring in his step and a big stupid goofy grin to go with it. 'I'm getting married' he thought, his grin got even wider. Well last night was certainly unexpected to say the least. He went with the intention to invite Sara to spend a weekend at his cabin; she hadn't been there for a long time. In fact the last time was probably Charlie's sixth birthday. 'God that was a great day' he thought. They had spent the whole day sitting on the deck. Jack was teaching Charlie the finer points of fishing while Sara sat reading a book on child psychology. He remembers it like it was yesterday. But now he has a second chance and he wasn't going to screw it up. Walking towards the briefing room he greeted every airman he passed, each one left slightly more shocked than the previous.  
  
'Afternoon, Sir'. Walking through the door he noticed he was late. General George Hammond commander of the base sat at the head of the table, flicking through a report most likely written by Carter. Daniel was sat to his right engrossed with a big steaming cup of what looked like coffee, Teal'c was sat to his left reading some sort of alien conspiracy magazine that he likes to read. He wondered if it was the ones they had all subscribed him to it for his birthday. Next to Teal'c sat Janet who was obviously engrossed in another of her medical reports. across from them sat......... no one??  
  
"General" Jacks asks as he enters the room, his eyes never leaving one seat. A seat that should be occupied but wasn't.  
  
"Colonel. Nice of you too join us". Jack walked towards the chair that he usually occupied but stood up against it instead of sitting.  
  
"Yep" he said not really taking in what the General had said. His thoughts were still set on the unoccupied seat to his right. "Carter not joining us?" he said as more of a statement rather than a question.  
  
"I was going to ask you that Colonel".  
  
"Haven't seen her all day, Sir". He pointed out.  
  
"More like all week" Daniel mumbled, gaining Jack's attention.  
  
"Something you want to add Daniel?" Daniel drew his attention away from the journal he had been previously been reading.  
  
"No, nothing at all" a silence covered the group of 5. That was until a rather breathless Major Carter entered the room, all eyes focused on her. One set of eyes especially. There was something different about her he thought to himself, something not right. He watched her as she made her way deeper into the room. She was nervous, that bit was obvious. Carter was never nervous, she wasn't even nervous when she was on the verge of blowing a sun up. Jack drew his attention away from her to focus on the others. Concern etched their faces. She was never late, never.  
  
"Sorry I'm late Sir" came the mumbled apology. Without waiting for a reply she sat herself down. He saw her wince slightly as her leg touched the top of the table, his curiosity had been well and truly piqued but as per usual the caring Jack lay in wait and out came Colonel Jack hardass O'Neill.  
  
"Problem Major?" he asked.  
  
"No Sir" she replied while moving her hand to her forehead.  
  
"Care to explain why you're late then?"  
  
She flinched at his tone. lifting her head up slightly, being careful to still cover up the lump and bruise on her head. She looked round to the table and saw the look on everyone's face, they wanted an answer too, and she had the perfect one.  
  
"I had a incident in my lab, Sir" she lied.  
  
"Incident?" the Colonel asked. By now everyone's attention was fixed on Sam.  
  
"One of my experiments malfunctioned, Sir". Well she couldn't exactly tell them that she was being violently sick in the toilets could she? To demonstrate a point Sam lifted her hand away from her head and heard the gasps from around the table as her injury was seen by all.  
  
"Oh" she heard Jack mumble underneath his breath. No that wasn't right it was the Colonel not Jack.  
  
"Its nothing, just a bump".  
  
"Doesn't look like nothing" looking across the room she looked for the person who the voice belonged to. Before she knew it a hand was felt on her shoulder. The touch was unexpected, causing Sam to panic. Jumping from her chair she heard a thud as the chair fell backwards to the floor. Coming to a stand still she noticed everyone's eyes still on her, the look of concerned filled their faces. Turning her head slightly she noticed that the Colonel was stood beside her. His hand was half way towards touching her, displaying an emotion she hadn't seen for a while. She met his eyes hesitantly; her heart sank as he whipped his hand away, creating an even greater distance between the pair. Slowly her sense came back online and she heard a voice.  
  
"Sam? Sam? Are you alright?" She turned back around to face the blue eyes of one Daniel Jackson. With everyone's eyes locked on her she felt extremely nervous, the only thought that was running through her mind was 'They know'. But they couldn't know, but with someone with such a great mind as Samantha Carter she couldn't accept it. As she struggled to regain her composure.  
  
"Erm.... I'm fine sorry".  
  
"You don't look fine Sam" came Janet's voice.  
  
"Just a little tired maybe". 'Well what's one lie more' she thought.  
  
"Report to the infirmary Major" General Hammond reported. Self - consciously she wrapped her arms around her body, she wanted to whimper as her hand came to rest on what she presumed was another bruise, but she didn't. She couldn't let them see this.  
  
"Sir" she spoke up. "With all due respect, we've already had to postpone and reschedule this briefing once, it'll be a waste to do it again" the General opened his mouth to speak but Sam wasn't finished. "And Sir, I'll promise I'll report to infirmary as soon as we have finished here" she looked at him, silently pleading.  
  
"General...." the Colonel began, obviously on the verge of objecting.  
  
"Very well Major" she watched as he spared a glance to the Colonel. The Colonel knew what it meant, 'Shut up Colonel'.  
  
The briefing went as smoothly as briefings with SG1 went. Interruptions and sarcasm galore by a certain Air Force Officer. Sam felt a sense of calmness wash over her as she began - the one place she could be the Major, the one with all the bright ideas, the one place she wasn't Sam the woman, the woman who had been raped. The one place she was safe from being hurt, in this way, was work.  
  
After a tedious and quite frankly boring briefing, Jack made his way down to the base gym. The place where the guys went and beat the shit out of stuff. Well what could he say it was fun! Walking towards the gym and past the dull lifeless grey walls of the SGC, Jacks mind began to wander. Soon enough he was back to thinking about the briefing, or more specifically, Carter. Which was strange, he never thought about Carter, not anymore anyway. Carter was his second in command and at the very most a friend. Not like Teal'c or Daniel. He had stopped himself thinking about Carter in an inappropriate way about a year ago.  
  
and now he was engaged to his ex-wife, funny how things turn out. Sam was with Josh. What could he say about the man? He didn't trust him and quite frankly didn't like him. But Sam seemed happy so he played nice. And he and Sam, well things were different. They had been for a while. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Don't get him wrong he missed her, sometimes like crazy. But the love he once had for this woman had changed and he had found happiness with again Sara. A woman he loved and in return loved him.  
  
"Jack! Wait up!" Jack stopped in his tracks and waited for the young archaeologist to catch up with him. Daniel was extremely out of breath when he caught up with Jack; Jack smiled finding humour in Daniels state. "Hey" he said after finally catching his breath back.  
  
"Hey" Jack continued on walking as Daniel fell into step next to him, a small bout of silence followed until Daniel could take it no longer.  
  
"You seen Sam around?"  
  
"Nope" he kept his gaze fixed straight ahea. "Should I have?"  
  
"Well I guess I just thought you might be concerned about her considering she is your second in command and a friend".  
  
"She's a work colleague," he snapped back, already not liking where this conversation was going.  
  
"Okay. But isn't part of you job as CO to look after the welfare of those under your command". Daniel was dancing around the topic he really wanted to discuss. Jack was a man with little patience and he never tries to hide it.  
  
"Daniel spit it out!"  
  
"Huh?" Jack took one look at Daniel before pushing the gym door open; scanning the room for any other occupants he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw no one else. Turning back round to face Daniel who had just entered through the door, he made his earlier request a little clearer.  
  
"What do you want? Really!"  
  
"Okay" he walked further into the room." You gotta admit today wasn't like the Sam we know. I mean when is Sam ever late? That bruise on her head? The way she acted when Janet touched her?"  
  
"Okay so it was un-Carterish"  
  
"She didn't have an accident," he finally blurted out, unaware of the pair of ears outside that were fixated on this conversation.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I bumped into Dr Roberts, he asked me too pass a message onto Sam for him" Jack waited for Daniel to finish, but nothing else was said on his behalf, so Jack encouraged him a little.  
  
"And??"  
  
"He told me to apologise on his behalf about having to use Sam's lab for so long this morning". Jack didn't know what to think. "She lied, Jack". 'Sam.... Carter would never lie' again the caring Jack went into hiding and macho Jack came out to play.  
  
"She must have her reasons Danny," he said as he began to punch numbers into the jogger, getting ready for his session.  
  
"Aren't you in the least bit worried Jack? I mean we hardly see her nowadays, when was the last time we saw her off base? Christ for all we know her and Josh could be having trouble". That caught Jacks attention.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Nothing it was just an example".  
  
"You think he did that to her?" he said, anger levels rising. His mind started racing but one thought stuck out 'I'll kill him'.  
  
"No Jack! Christ! I'm just saying maybe we need to forget about the past and show we care"  
  
"Daniel...."  
  
"Jack.... she needs us".  
  
"I'm an engaged man Daniel, I don't know what you're expecting from me". They didn't hear the gasp that came from behind the door or see the figure that retreated backwards.  
  
"What so that means you can't care?"  
  
"You know why" he said looking glum.  
  
"You still love her?"  
  
"What? No of course not, I'm not sure I ever did to be honest" with that he turned away from Daniel pointing out that the conversation had ended.  
  
Samantha Carter's life was seldom simple. I mean for starters she works at a top-secret base that keeps the world's greatest secret, could life be anymore complex? She didn't think so but for perhaps the first time in her life Doctor Samantha Carter, Major in the USAF was proved wrong. Not only had she had her dignity and self-respect torn away from her by one man and he inabilities to control himself but now the one hope she had for the future had been taken away from her. How could she hate a man and love him at the same time? Was it right for her to hate a woman for the simple fact that she had got something Sam wanted? Deep down inside she hated herself. Hated herself for putting her career before her personal life. Hated herself for pretending to move on. Hated herself for wanting the upcoming marriage between Colonel Jack O'Neill and his ex-wife Sara Harris to fail. As Sam walked the corridors of the SGC she failed to notice the small brunette turn a corner and head straight towards her that was until she hit her head on. As Janet struggled to regain her balance, Sam fell to the floor.  
  
"Oh god Sam I'm sorry" Janet said as she offered her hand to Sam. Sam took it and gingerly pulled herself to her feet.  
  
"My fault. Wasn't looking where I was going"  
  
"I noticed. You look like you have a hundred and one things on your mind".  
  
"Yeah just busy" she said, as her eyes looked everywhere apart from at Janet.  
  
"Aren't you always" Janet continued to look at Sam, concerned slightly as she noticed she was avoiding any sort of eye contact. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah of course why?"  
  
"I don't know," she said. "Are you coming?"  
  
"Huh?" she said turning round to glance at her. "Going where?"  
  
"To check on that nasty cut of yours," she said reaching for the mentioned cut. "Which should have been checked sooner".  
  
"It's nothing" she lied. It hurt more than she wanted to admit to herself.  
  
"It doesn't look like that way". Sam flinched. She had known Janet for a long time, they had become to know one another and she knew that the comment just made was not just about the abrasion.  
  
"Janet really I'm fine".  
  
"Sam you can't lie to me"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I know you didn't have an accident in your lab" she said dropping her voice volume down slightly.  
  
"Janet! I told you what happened. I..."  
  
"Sam don't!!" she said in a slightly raised voice. Janet looked over her shoulder then turned to look over Sam's shoulder. Tugging on Sam's jacket she led her down the corridor. Taking a sharp left she found herself taking a less than familiar route to her quarters.  
  
"Janet" Sam hissed. But no reply was heard. Janet opened Sam's door and literally threw Sam inside. This time the hiss that emerged from Sam wasn't that of anger, but the pain emitted from her left side as she crashed into the chair. This didn't go unnoticed by Janet, who couldn't understand why Sam was in so much pain.  
  
"What's wrong?" Janet moved towards Sam, but Sam took a step further away.  
  
"Don't," she whispered.  
  
"Don't what?" she asked. Pure concern etched in her voice.  
  
Sam looked thoughtful for a minute; in truth she was finding it difficult to holdback the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill. "Don't waste you concern on me" she finally came up with.  
  
"Doesn't look like I'm wasting it too me"  
  
"Janet..."  
  
"Do I need to tell the General that you're not fit for duty?"  
  
"Why would you do that?" she asked. She felt the tears prickling her eyes, and started praying to her head not to let them fall.  
  
"Your side" she pointed to the left side of Sam's body where her hand gripped the offending place of pain.  
  
"It's nothing"  
  
"Let me see" she said taking further steps towards Sam.  
  
"Janet, I must have bumped it when I fell. Just a bruise"  
  
"Well then you won't mind me looking" in one quick movement Janet had reached Sam and pulled her shirt up to expose the black and blue side. When the blackness ended an angry red marked stain her skin. It looked as though she had been sitting out in the sunburn for far too long with no sun cream on. Janet gasped as the shirt went on to reveal the marks that covered the other side. As Sam looked at Janet's face, which was currently occupied with seeking out the marks, she felt the first tear form in the corner of her right eye. But instead of swatting it away she let it fall. In what appeared to be slow motion the tear ran along the side of her nose and landed softly on her lips. Sam was shocked at the amount of emotion that one tear held. Memories of all which caused her pain filled her mind, like a jug pouring water into a glass. Josh. Dad. Jack. She was so engrossed in the memories that she failed to realise the fact that the tears she tried so hard to hold back were now free styling down the side of her face. After a moment of silence, Janet managed to find her voice.  
  
"Sam" no response. "Sam" she shook her slightly. This time Sam responded with a slight sniff. "What happened?" she asked carefully. Sam turned round to answer. "The truth"  
  
"Josh" it was barely a whisper. The look on Janet's face told Sam all she needed to know. She knew. She knew what that bastard had done to her. Within seconds she found herself engulfed in Janet's arms. Sobs and words of comforts were the only sounds that escaped that room.  
  
"Your good to go Daniel". Smiling at Janet he hopped off the bed.  
  
"Great" he replied as he struggled to get his jacket on. Glancing at Janet he noticed a smirk on her face.   
  
"Need a bit of help there?"  
  
"Ya think??"Janet stepped forward and took the sleeve that Daniel was having trouble finding and held it out to him. Popping his arm into his jacket he turned round to face Janet.  
  
"Your starting to sound like the Colonel more and more each day".  
  
"Is that a complement?" he asked. She went to open her mouth, but closed it. Deciding against the obvious remark that would answer the question. "You know what don't answer that". She chuckled. The two colleagues settled into a comfortable silence. A small groan was heard from the back of the room, stirring the doctors. As Daniel turned round to try and locate from which direction the grin had come from he noticed a look in Janet's eye. Grief. Loss. Anger.  
  
"You know," he whispered.  
  
"She knows" she replied back. A small sigh was heard.  
  
"How?" he asked, settling himself back on the infirmary bed.  
  
"She overheard the two of you"  
  
"God" Janet just nodded in response. "How is she?" Janet swallowed hard. Such an innocent question, yet the answer would unravel more than needed to be known.  
  
"She says she's fine"  
  
"Is she?"  
  
"Yeah" she lied. Daniel smiled a small smile.  
  
"She has Josh now" he said smiling. Janet closed her eyes for a brief second, but it seemed like an eternity. She felt the tingling in the corner of her eye. 'Not now' she scolded herself.  
  
"Yeah" she agreed. 'If only you knew, if only' she silently added.  
  
"What are we here for again?"  
  
"Naquada deposits Sir" she sighed. It was the 15th time he'd asked that question since they'd arrived.  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Its an important discovery" she said her gaze wondering from tree to tree, silently wishing she was at the intended destination.  
  
"Not that" she looked at him confused; their eyes did that annoying thing. Like magnets they seemed drawn to each other, Sam being the one this time to repel her eyes from his. "No scientific explanation? No trying to confuse the hell out of me" she smiled a little smile, unaware of the tension that eased outta jack's face. Unaware that it was only temporary.  
  
"I wouldn't want to do that Sir" she said, that's all she meant to say of course. The next words were only intended for her mind and her mind only. But for some reason her mouth decided not to follow orders to shut the hell up. "I'm sure Sara's got you confused as hell with all the wedding arrangements as it is." As soon as it left her mouth she mentally slapped herself. Jack cringed at the harsh tone at which the words were delivered with.  
  
"Carter...." he started to say but was cut off  
  
"Sir I'm sorry, that was completely inappropriate"  
  
"For crying out loud Carter, you've got nothing to apologise for. I should have told you, Sam" that caught her attention. Her name on his lips sounded so foreign but in a way so right.  
  
"Sir?" she asked confused by not only the last sentence but the with the softness it was said in.  
  
"How did you find out?"  
  
"Janet told me" she lied. He knew that she had lied from the slight blush, which was creeping up her neck but decided against pursuing the subject any further.  
  
"I should have told you"  
  
"It's none of my business" she replied. At first he didn't know what to say to that. She was his friend right? And friends cared right?   
  
"We're friends, right?" he asked. She nodded hesitantly he noted. "Friends care about what happens to their to their other friends. I mean I'd want to know if there was something wrong or if you needed help" he didn't see her cringe. "I should have told you myself"  
  
"I know now," she whispered, barely loud enough to reach Jack's ears.  
  
"Yeah you do" they fell into what would have been a comfortable silence if they were friends, but as it was the silence was filled with a tension that made ice cream look thin. "Saturday" he suddenly exclaimed.  
  
"Huh?" she said turning round to look at him, sheepishly she added a "Sir" at the end.  
  
"Sara's organised a sort of engagement party. I'd like it if you could come". She went to say thanks but no thanks. "I've been an ass lately, I had no right to be. You're more than welcome to bring Josh along with you". This time he noticed her flinch. Daniels words echoed through his head 'Christ for all we know her and Josh could be having trouble'. "Everything alright between you two?" he asking. Inside Sam smiled at him. This was the Jack she liked, the one who she'd give her heart too. But at the same time her brain started to go into over drive. She hated just hearing his name, hearing his name bought back memories. Memories that she didn't want to remember.  
  
"Fine. We'll be there," she said. He smiled. 


	3. Chapter 3 A white lie

Thanks for the reviews guy they are really appreciated. Sorry the updates are slow. I can post more parts but they will be smaller.

#####

Saturday night soon came around, and Jack was nervous. He was never nervous. This is the same man who has lead teams out into battle to fight thousands of enemy fighters. His stomach never did the things it was doing now, then. Strolling through the house he was congratulated by each individual who he passed. Each sending their well wishes. He took a mental note of the face; he'd never met them before. Sara's friends obviously. Looking round the room he noticed the small gathering of SGC personal that he had invited. Well small compared to Sara's invited guests. Creating a pathway through the carpet of people he finally made it, safe at last. The past 30 minutes Jack had strategically avoiding relatives. He'd rather sit through a Carter or Daniel lecture than listen to them. He smiled at the small group that had formed, his family. As Jack's eyes darted from one person to the next, his eyes expressing his appreciation of them attending, he frowned.  
  
"Where's Carter?" he spoke as he fully reached the group and settled into the warmth that radiated from them. Everyone shrugged, apart from Daniel and Janet who seemed to glare at one another. "Doc? Daniel?" he asked after noticing the glare.  
  
"Late" Daniel replied. Jack gave him one of those looks, the 'I've not time for this' look. "Josh's probably running late at work or something". Janet turned her eyes towards the crowd at the other side of the room that was in hysterics about something.  
  
"Yeah, of course he is" she mumbled as frustration set in.  
  
"Huh?" Jack asked looking directly at Janet.  
  
"Yeah, she rang me"  
  
"And...." he impatiently said.  
  
"She said she would be late".  
  
"Nice of her to let me know"  
  
"Jack!" Daniel cried. "She probably thought you'd be too busy to take on call on how she's going to be a few minutes late!" Satisfied with the answer and quite frankly sick of a certain persons name mentioned he changed the subject.  
  
"You guys need anything?" Everyone shook their head.  
  
"T?"  
  
"I am fine O'Neill".  
  
"Great" he said sarcastically. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a hand that rested on his shoulder. He turned round to see the smiling and slightly flustered face of his soon to be wife.  
  
"Jack honey" he cringed at that word. "Were running low on beer". Smiling he turned round to face his friends.  
  
"Be back in a bit guys"  
  
"Do you require assistance O'Neill?"  
  
"Sure T"

#####

Glancing down at her watch she noticed that 10 minutes had passed since she had got out of her car. For 10 minutes she had been standing on the pavement just outside his house observing. She watched people come and go, not noticing the woman who stood at the side. She watched people smile at one another. She watched lovers gently kiss each other on the lips. She watched friends greet each other with hugs and the males slap each other on the back. She had been sat in the car when some of the SGC guests showed up. They never noticed her. She watched as 2 men came out of the house, obviously in deep discussion about something. Smiling as the more bulky one of the men failed to understand something the other had said and was met with a cry of 'Oh for crying out loud, never mind'. She watched as his eyes settled on her, taking in her appearance. She smiled at the smile that graced his face. Throwing the keys to Teal'c she watched him make his way to her.  
  
"You know its warmer inside"  
  
"I just got here" she lied. He stopped in front of her and nodded his head. "Good party?" she asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Oh you know...."  
  
"Avoiding the relatives, Sir?"  
  
"You betcha" she laughed. She knew him too well. She noticed his gaze fall from her and dart around her as if looking for something or someone. "Josh not with you?" he asked softly.  
  
"Erm no, he had to work. He sent his apology's". Not once Sam hadn't made eye contact with Jack since he'd asked where he was, causing Jack to be sceptical of the words coming from her mouth.  
  
"No worries" he assured her. She could feel his gaze on her, making her feel uncomfortable. She couldn't help but feel paranoid. She hugged herself tightly to conceal the bruises from his piercing eyes, even though the clothes did that job she felt as though he could see right through them, right through the wall of lies she was hiding behind. "fancy giving an old man a hand" he asked relieving the tension, which had built around them.  
  
"Sure" she smiled and went to move past him. But noticed the look on his face. "What?" she asked  
  
"Well I was hoping for you to disagree with me on the old man statement".  
  
"Wouldn't that be insubordination, Sir? Me arguing with a superior" Leaving a stunned Jack behind she made her way to the SUV. Teal'c she noted had left the keys in the door and left the door wide open, much to Jacks annoyance. She smiled as he mumbled something incoherently. Leaning into the back he pulled a crate of beer out and handed it to Carter. Smirking as he did.  
  
"Too heavy for you Carter?" nodding her head down to the crate now in her hands, she indicated to him to throw another one on top. So he did.  
  
"Never underestimate me Sir" she walked off with both crates in her hands. For a couple of seconds Jack just watched her.  
  
"I never do, Sam," he said to the still air.

#####

"Didn't think you were going to make it back there" Jack asked Sam as he finally rejoined the group after a near fatal incident with a relative.  
  
"I'm a big strong girl you know Colonel" Both officers smiled at each other, enjoying the banter and the light flirting. It was the something that had been missing from the team for a while now. Jack would make his orders Sam would follow them. No 'How are you doings?". No "Are you alright?". Nothing. Just two air forces officers who seemed to be in constant military mode. But tonight things were strangely different the rest of the group noted, tonight they were more at ease with each other than they had ever been. Their gazes occupied one another's face a bit longer than normal, when they both realised this they tore their eyes away and focused on something else.  
  
"Drink?" Janet asked the crowd, but it was aimed more towards Sam. A chorus of 'Yes's" came. "Sam, mind giving me a hand?" she asked aware of the questioning looks coming from the Colonel and Daniel.  
  
"Sure" she replied ignoring the quizzical looks towards her from her companions. Following Janet towards the kitchen she could feel one set of eyes piercing her back, his eyes.  
  
"You know where the Colonel keeps the strong stuff?" Sam asked while shifting through the bottles placed on the kitchen table.  
  
"No. Sam?"  
  
"Ha" she exclaimed, "Just what the doctor ordered?" she said while waving a bottle of scotch in front of Janet.  
  
"You don't like scotch" she didn't reply just started pouring a rather large quantity in the glass. "Sam? Sam? Are you okay?"  
  
"Of course I am? I always am aren't I?" she picked up the glass and wasted no time in knocking the brown liquid down her throat.  
  
"Talk to me, Sam"  
  
"Isn't that what I'm doing?". As she poured herself another drink she heard a chorus of laughter coming from the main room, she shuddered. Again she helped herself to yet another generous helping of the bitter sweet drink, hoping it would help quell the emotions she felt building inside her, Janet looked on in concern and was about to take the glass from her hand. That was until someone walked on and interrupted the scene. Grabbing Sam's arm she hoisted them both outside onto the deck. The deck that Jack had spent days building, and days moaning about. Sam's mind was becoming clouded. The drink was rapidly being absorbed into her blood. The fact that she had consumed very little food in days was not helping. Looking at the drink, she considered putting it down, but looking at the sympathetic face of Janet made her think otherwise. She gasped out loud as the full force of the drink hit her. She felt it burn down her throat. They say alcohol kills brain cells; she just hoped it was the ones responsible for memo  
ry. Her gaze fell upon Janet again. She turned away, unable to bear the look. As her mind became unable to control itself, emotions boiled to the surface. Hunched over the decking railing she felt her body tremble, then felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning round she felt herself being encased in a pair of strong arms, burying her head in the chest of the consoler. A pair of arms that definitely didn't belong to the CMO of Cheyenne Mountain. Drawing in a deep breath, she smelt him. Smelt the cologne he always wore to team outings, smelt the cologne he was wearing tonight. She started to struggle but felt his arms tighten round her.  
  
"Shhhh its okay" he whispered into her hair. After a few moments the tears began to dissipate, and she fell into military mode. She pulled herself away from him.  
  
"Sorry, Sir" she apologised.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"For this" she gestured widely with her hands.  
  
"You wanna tell me what's wrong?" as she went to open her mouth to reply he cut her off. "The truth" he stated.  
  
"Nothing" she turned away, heading towards the doors.  
  
"Sam.." that caught her off guard. Stopping a few yards from the entrance she turned back around to face him, tears stung her eyes." Josh?" he asked.  
  
"Just a disagreement" she lied. He eyed her suspiciously.  
  
"Just?"  
  
"Yeah, hence him not being here".  
  
"So the whole work thing?"  
  
"A white lie" she stated while shrugging. Jack started fiddling with the glass in his hand. He would place it down on the railing then pick it up. He was thinking about whether to say what he was thinking or lock it up in the box he called his heart.  
  
"He's not good enough for you" he heard his mouth say. He noticed her face harden.  
  
"Sorry?"  
  
"Josh" he confidence rose. "You can do better"  
  
"I thought so too. But that guy's gone, moved onto something better. I just don't wanna be alone anymore". He took a hesitant step towards her.  
  
"You'll never be alone. You have us guys". She looked towards the party; through the small window she could see the back of woman who held Jack's heart.  
  
"Not anymore" she whispered.

#####

She had seen Sam come back into the house, followed by a rather sober looking Jack a couple of minutes afterwards. Since then she had seen Jack a couple of times, he had suddenly found an interest in the relatives he had skillfully avoided earlier on. As for Sam, she hadn't seen her since.  
  
"My father once told me a thinking woman is a dangerous one".  
  
"Your father was a wise one Doctor Jackson".  
  
"Ouch! Must be serious if your calling me doctor. What's up?"  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"Nothing?? Doesn't look like it" she looked at him questioningly. This encouraged him to explain. "Jack may be easily fooled but me and Teal'c aren't. Sam's hurting, I know it, Teal'c knows and you know it. We just want to know why".  
  
"Daniel  
  
"And don't give me the whole 'Jack getting married' speech. There's something else going on". Silence. "Is it Josh" Janet's flinch gave him the answer he needed to continue. But the emotions her body language showed gave Daniel the bigger picture." What's he done to her?" No lie could be told.  
  
"Do you need to ask?"

#####

"Having fun?"  
  
"Yasureyabetcha"  
  
"I know this isn't your idea of fun" Jack went to interrupt. "I guess I kinda got carried away".  
  
"It's fun really. I never knew how much uncle eddy could drink before he actually passed out, so it's been informative" he glanced over towards his unconscious uncle and smirked.  
  
"Well he sure did provide the entertainment".  
  
"He's an O'Neill what did you expect" she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled his head down towards hers, there lips met for a short but sweet kiss.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
"For you being you"  
  
"Well that's a first?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Me being complimented for being a pain in the ass sarcastic Colonel in the USAF!" she laughed. She glanced around the room.  
  
"I don't see your team anywhere? They haven't gone home have they? I was hoping to meet them".  
  
"You've met them before".  
  
"I know. But then I was just the girlfriend but now I'm the fiancé!"  
  
He chose to ignore that comment. "I'll round them up in a minute".

#####

Loneliness was said by some to be disease; others say it is a path we all live. In Samantha Carters opinion it was a curse. Nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately she doubted this curse could be lifted by the kiss of a handsome prince, if it was the handsome prince she had in mind would be unavailable and undoubtabally unwilling to do the deed. No. Sam Carter was cursed for life. Her life as a daughter of a USAF officer at first was lonely. Moving from each base to another made it difficult to establish close friends and impossible to establish a relationship. The death of her mother was a hard blow. Sam not only lost her mother but her best friend. She spent nights confiding to her mother about the problems every teenage girl has, then on one cold Saturday afternoon it was ripped from her. Her Dad tried, as did her brother. She thought nothing could fill the emptiness her mother left that was until she met them. Her team members meant more to her than some of her family members. Her surrogate family as she liked to call them, made her life seem that little bit fuller. They meant more to her any million dollars, more than any life changing scientific discovery. Each one was unique; each held a special place in her heart, some more than others.  
  
"Sam!" she heard her name being called. Her game of hide and seek had been ended prematurely. The seekers had found her.  
  
"Daniel" she stated, smiling as the thoughts of him filled her mind. Daniel the comforter, the older brother, the listener. She noticed him being tailed by one unhappy looking Janet Fraiser."Janet?" she asked more than stated  
  
"I'm sorry". She closed her eyes. She was apologising for breaking the promise of secrecy.  
  
"It's okay" and it was. Her shoulders that were holding the burden of this secret felt lighter. She saw the look of relief etched in Janet's face. She wasn't sure if it was for the forgiveness or for the lightened burden.  
  
"Sam?" he asked as he knelt down beside her. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Why do you think Daniel?"  
  
"So we wouldn't go round there and kick his scrawny ass?" she smiled at his machoness. He'd been hanging out with the Colonel too much.  
  
"Yes" she said in all seriousness.  
  
"Tell me" Janet, she had noticed had taken guarding her other side.  
  
"I couldn't face losing you all because one man couldn't take no for an answer".  
  
"You wouldn't have lost us"  
  
"I would. Your trained members of the USAF whether it be civilian or in the force. You'd be trialed and jailed fasted than they can say astrophysics!"  
  
"But what Josh did...."  
  
"What Josh did to me couldn't be proven" Daniel was silent in thought.  
  
"You should have told us"  
  
"I couldn't" she started to shake, her eyes stung where the tears started to form. "I was scared Daniel. I lost who I was that night. He took my dignity, my pride and my courage. I will not let him take away my family, my friends". She could stand it no longer, her body trembled with tears. She heard Daniel move next to her, she didn't know where too. That was until she felt two arms gather her up. She didn't resist the comfort he offered unlike her encounter with the Colonel. Seconds seemed like minutes, minutes seemed like hours. Slowly she pulled herself together. Pulling herself away from Daniel she rubbed at her eyes like a small child would do. Her eyes felt puffy they always did, rubbing at them she tried to rid them of some of the swelling and redness. A vision of surrender was waved in front of her. She refocused and smiled at the gesture of Daniel offering her a tissue; she nodded her thanks and took it. Her smile grew as both Janet and Daniel took one of her hands in each of there's, squeezing it slightly. The support shown would have bought tears to her eyes. Would have if the door to leading onto the garden hadn't opened above them and the whole gathering emptied onto the decking. Unfortunately the decking wouldn't conceal her existence from that many prying eyes. Reluctantly she stood, dropping both hands.  
  
"We're missing the party"  
  
"I'll tell Jack your not feeling too good" Daniel stood and began to walk away. She stopped him by placing a firm hand on his arm.  
  
"No. It's okay".  
  
"Sam...." Janet started to intervene  
  
"It's the Colonels night tonight. His and Sara's" with that she walked off and joined the party forming on the decking, ignorant of all the looks she was getting from Daniel and Janet.


	4. Chapter 4 And so it begins

Chapter 4- And so it begins.

A/N – For disclaimer see chapter 1.

(1 week later)

"SG1 you have a go" came general Hammond's booming voice.

Jack nodded towards the control room and then turned round to face the remaining members of the flagship team. His team. He swept his hand towards the shimmering blue pool, letting them know in his own way to go forth. Teal'c as usual took point, closely followed by a rather quiet Carter. Daniel bought up the rear of the threesome. Jack watched them one by one disappear, then with one final look at the control room took the giant leap from one world to another. P3X 932 welcomed SG1 with a mighty gust of cold wind. To say Jack wasn't particularly excited about this mission was an understatement. The cold never did his knees much good.

"Well troops...this is nice" came the sardonic tone from their commander.

"Jack the information about the weather conditions was outlined in the mission briefing" Daniel replied, the only one raising to the task of answering their chief, the only one brave enough. To say Colonel Jack O'Neill had not been in a good mood lately was putting it nicely. Daniel couldn't quite place his finger on the source of his friends sour mood. His soon-to-be wife was currently back on earth planning his upcoming nuptials to her, Jack had nothing to do. It was all being sorted. Now he knew Jack, Jack wasn't the sorta guy to want to get involved in that sorta stuff, so Daniel concluded that this wasn't the source... he was out of answers. The only other possibility...sam... it couldn't be, Daniel thought to himself. Sam had been the perfect guest at the party, considering what had happened to her. And she hadn't gone all technobabble on Jack as of late. Maybe that was it...maybe he missed technobabble. Okay it was a long shot.

"I know Daniel, contrary to popular belief I do actually pay attention. Well shall we? The sooner we're done, the sooner we can get outta here." And so the 4 members of SG1 trudged on to their destination. P3X 932 a rather green planet with an abundance of open space. No signs of intelligence life, just rocks. Daniel's idea of heaven.

Jack was staring, he was completely aware off it. He just couldn't tear his eyes off her. Ever since Josh's no show at the party something had been niggling him. Something about Sam Carter had changed and he wasn't sure he liked it. She was staying on base for longer periods, she confined herself into her lab most days, hell he couldn't remember the last proper team gathering they'd had together. He'd never forget that day she came bursting into the briefing room with that bruise and lump on her head, he had neglected her. The realisation startled him and he stopped in his tracks, allowing the other 3 team members to get further on ahead. Daniel had come to him expressing his worries about her and he'd done nothing. He was team leader, he was suppose to protect them all, but when it came to Sam Carter something was stopping him.

"Jack?" Daniel's voiced interrupted his silent musings. He looked up to find Daniel and Teal'c ever so slightly invading his personal space. When had they got so close? He looked round for any sign of Carter and found his eyes resting on the figure standing a couple of metres away, standing guard.

"I'm fine" he got out. Teal'c tilted his head to one side.

"Are you sure O'Neill? You seem most distracted"

"I'm fine" he repeated. "A little tired maybe, just wanna get off this damn planet".

"Indeed, the weather is most unpleasant"

"Well, I guess it could be a little bit warmer" said Daniel trying to look on the bright side.

"A little?? It's minus 7 degrees!"

"At least there's no snow"

"Well thank-you for that happy thought Daniel. Now can we please get a get a move on? CARTER!!!" he shouted towards her, she spun round and faced her commander.

"Sir?" she questioned.

"How much further?"

"Not much sir"

"How much is 'not much' Carter?" he flinched at how harsh he words came out. It wasn't her fault is was all very much his fault.

"Just the other side of those trees, sir. Bout 1/2 a klick, sir." she might as well have saluted.

"Thanks" he mumbled. And then he was off. He reckoned it was much safer not only for him but the others if he took point.

A/N – I am going to try to complete this story because of the simple fact as a devoted reader of fan fiction I hate it when I get into a story and then find it's not finished. I'm not a fan of my writing, I think its too sloppy. And I don't have a beta simply for the fact that I'm far too unpredictable with when I get the urge to write. So any reviews would be fantastic and any mistakes are completely and utterly mine. Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5 What the hell happened?

Chapter 5- What the hell happened??

"Is something the matter O'Neill?"

"Huh? Oh no, I don't think so anyway. I just don't like the silence, no birds" Teal'c gently nodded his head in agreement and they both went back to 'babysitting'. Well that was Jack's term for it anyway. He was never any use on these missions. Occasionally he bought along a pack of cards or a yo-yo or something to occupy his mind. The problem being that he already had something occupying his mind and no matter how entertaining spinning that yo-yo or losing hand after hand of poker to Teal'c was, it wasn't going to rid his head of the thoughts it contained.

"Have you and Sara Watson set a date for your upcoming marriage?" The question came out of the blue.

"Erm" he mentally scratched his head. "Yeah actually, I meant to tell you guys but I was just... well I don't know what I was doing actually."

"You have been most distracted O'Neill."

"What gave it away??" he chuckled, slightly bemused at the Jaffa. He turned his head slightly at his companion but noticed that a smile hadn't even graced the stoic Teal'cs lips. "Yeah I know" Teal'c just stared, waiting for the reason. "I guess...it's just that...okay. Have you noticed that something's up with Carter?"

"I have."

"And?"

"I believe Major Carter is going through a difficult period."

"Do you know something?"

"I do not."

"Are you sure?"

"I am." Conversation stopped. Until it started to nag at Jack.

"What do you think of Josh?"

"I do not think he is worthy of Major Carter's affection."

"Why not?"

"Major Carter is an extraordinary woman, therefore, I believe it only right she finds happiness with an extraordinary man. Josh Gable is not that man."

"Right, I don't like him either."

"Have you informed Major Carter of this?" Jack stared at Teal'c as if he had grown 2 heads.

"Are you crazy?" he raised his voice a few notches.

"I am not."

"Have you?"

"Indeed."

Flabbergasted, Jack tried to speak but at the moment no words were forthcoming. Meanwhile, not much further than 20 yards away, the two scientists were busy at work. Well, one was. The other one was far too busy voicing his thoughts, much to the displeasure of the other one. Sam had given up trying to respond to Daniel's rambling and instead focused on the job at hand. He didn't seem to notice the lack of response. Every now and again she made out the words 'goa'uld', 'Thoth', 'book' and 'wow'. Daniel she guessed was in awe at something, but she kept her head down and concentrated on the job at hand. Mineral surveys...her favourite. Although anything was better than being in the company of the colonel at the moment. The last thing she needed from him at the moment was anger but that was what was being directed at her. She couldn't put her finger on anything she could've done to anger him. She turned up at the engagement party, she played pleasantries with his relatives and Sara's. She thought she had been the perfect friend for him. But ever since that night she sensed hostility from him. She had gotten Daniel to drop her off at the base afterwards. She was a little worse for wear but managed to get through security and get to her quarters without so much as a stumble. Drinking wasn't something Sam was good at and she certainly paid for it the morning after. If anyone had noticed that she hadn't been home for the past 2 weeks they hadn't said anything. Anyway, her house at the moment wasn't exactly homey. She gathered that Josh had let himself in with the key she had so foolishly given him and trashed the place. She should have called the police, but then everyone would know and she couldn't bear the pity. Sighing, she pushed herself up from her crouched position. Packing all of her samples and equipment away she headed towards Daniel.

"Hey, got anything?" she asked cutting him off from his voiced thoughts.

"God, yes, Sam. This is amazing. This wall here describes the 'Book of Thoth' which was really like his book of secrets"

"Thoth?" she asked cutting him off.

"Egyptian god. The god of wisdom according to history, but seeing as he's more than likely a goa'uld I'm gonna have a wild guess and say that, his wisdom was more than likely stolen."

"Ancients?"

"Probably."

"Great, just what we need." She sighed sadly while she looked down at her worn hands.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Fine, it's just we rid ourselves of one goa'uld then we learn of another. It's never ending. Anyway, I'm gonna go a little nearer to the tree line get some samples from over there"

"Okay and hey, one day."

"Thanks Daniel." She touched his arm as she headed towards the trees. As she unpacked her kit she heard the colonel's voice. Looking around she saw him checking in with Daniel. By the look of it Daniel was going full on depth in his explanation of the writing he had found and the colonel's eyes were starting to glaze over. Suddenly his hands went up in the air, stopping Daniel in his tracks. She saw the colonel's mouth move as he asked Daniel something. In that moment the hairs on the back of her neck stood up; something wasn't right. Daniel nodded in her general direction and the colonel turned to look at her, he turned back round, probably to tell Daniel to hurry up, and that's when it happened. The colonel started to make his way towards her when she felt her blood come to life.

"O'NEILL!!" came Teal'cs booming voice as he bounded across the ruins. She heard the unmistakeable noise of a staff weapon and a couple of P-90's being fired. Before she had a chance to fully register what was happening she felt a pair of arms grab her from behind. There was no gentleness to these arms not like the ones of her CO's which she was comfortably enclosed in a week ago.

"CARTER!!" she heard his scream, but she couldn't move. It was like that last night with Josh all over again. She vainly tried to struggle but there was no energy to it. The flashes of staff blasts became blurred, the sounds seemed to echo in her mind and that's when she felt the prick in her arm. Her last memory of that moment was a desperate looking man trying to reach her. But it was too late, and as quick as the eye could blink she was gone.


End file.
